Please stop

Quite sufficient, his heavy cock argued persuasively.

- Besides the terribly worded sentence…his cock can TALK. (The Reiver — Jackie Barbosa, Kimberly Killion)

The pointed tips of her nipples stabbed his knee as her mouth rocked back and forth, making her big tits sway enticingly.

- …if your nipples are stabbing people i think you should go to the doctor…(Long Hard Ride — Lorelei James)

She’d known he had freckle fields on the top of his shoulders, but not that his skin would taste like toast and butter.

- Brb going out to the fields to pick you a bouquet of freckles, and tell him to stop rolling around in your breakfast. (My Fake Fiancee — Nancy Warren)

He stood with one hand gripping the door handle, the other pressed flat against the outside wall, merely leaning into the room, which was as far as he got when he saw her. And he didn’t move from that position — at least his body didn’t. His eyes were moving plenty, however, slowly, over every inch of her, from the flame-tinted hair, now in wild disarray, to the bare toes peeking out from the bottom of that incredible sheath of shimmering, clinging green satin, and what was in between — Christ Almighty.

- Jesus is everywhere (Savage Thunder — Johanna Lindsey)

His cock was throbbing like a damn toothache with no relief in sight.

- a DAMN toothache. This is a terrible analogy…(Alexandra’s Legacy — N. J. Walters)

Why is anyone the way they are? That’s kind of hard to answer. Why do some people like cheese and other people hate it? Do you like cheese?

-

Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 75.

we got a regular aristotle on our hands here.

(via 50shadesofsuck)

He could see that she was red and swollen, but thankfully he hadn’t caused her to hemorrhage nor given her tiny anus hemorrhoids.

- Anus. You just said anus and hemorrhoids. Idk about you guys but that totally gets me hot. (Best Night Ever — Keara Kevay)

‘I’ve barfed in four cities, every room of this damned place, the gym at the elementary school (we went to the sixth-grade production of Life’s a Bitch, Charlie Brown), the supermarket, the post office, my doctor’s office, the Target in Hastings, the Target in Northfield, the St. Olaf campus, Walgreens, the bakery, the car — man, did I hear about that from Judith —’
‘Judith?’
‘— the bed-and-breakfast my husband and I went to, the other bed-and-breakfast my husband and I went to, Applebee’s, the truck stop, Bachman’s, Hallmark, the Mall of America, the Burnsville mall—’

- why are you talking about puking in places that i’ve been too. In a romance novel. Please stop. (Tall, Dark, and Not So Faery — Mary Janice Davidson (Faeries Gone Wild))

She shivered, moaning around the cock inflating by the second.

- what…it’s a balloon! not for children. (Northern Exposure — Jayne Rylon, Mari Carr)